Friday, January 31, 2014

Opportunity awaits...

Happy Friday!! Yesterday's post got me thinking about the things we want in life. From day to day. I'm talking a prayer you may have been praying about, the last piece of buttermilk pie (true story), a better job, a promotion at your current job, or even wanting to learn to sew!

I am a firm believe in the power of prayer. I'm also a firm believer in getting off your butt and making it happen! Sometimes God will open doors for us (create opportunities) that we don't even see because we're too busy whining and complaining about our job (when we should be thankful we have   a job) or we're waiting on something to just fall in our lap. God sometimes gives us the opportunity, but we have to make it happen.

-Sign up for a sewing class! Better yet, do what I did and watch videos on YouTube. No joke. Everything I have sewn I've either watched a YouTube video on how to make it or I've found a step by step tutorial on another blog.

-Ask for that promotion! I highly recommend dressing your best that day and walking into your boss's office with a list of reasons why you deserve a promotion. What's the worst thing that could happen? They say no. Ok, well you still have a job, you're not making any less and you've planted a seed. Boom.

-And, you'll have to excuse me, this is MY style. Take that last piece of pie! Gobble it up real quick and then, even more quickly, leave the room. Wipe the crumbs off your mouth! Go in the kitchen later saying how much you'd reeaally like another piece of pie. *GASP* it's gone!!!! Oh well, someone must have wanted it more than you. The early bird gets the worm, right? Muahahahahahaha.

My "biggest" sale so far with my appliquƩ business happened because I reached out to a friend and showed her what I was doing. She has 3 little boys so I showed her pictures of the shirts I had made for Carter. She freaked (obvi) OUT. I offered her free shipping since she lives a bit away, and the rest is history. LOL, I won't start that again. I mean, word of mouth is my best friend right now. I made it happen.

Fear and doubt are the biggest dream killers, for real. Take a deep breath, and jump the fence of opportunity. You never know what is waiting on the other side.




Thursday, January 30, 2014

Waiting on His promise

Being a Mommy can be one of the most rewarding and the most challenging things I have ever experienced. I can't imagine my life without my little bear but sometimes I am scared to death and think to myself  'what am I doing?! I'm responsible for another human being!' Life has it's ups and downs for sure, Mommy-hood has it's mountains and valleys.

Carter is my greatest accomplishment.  I mean that in every sense of the word. My husband and I went through a lot before he finally entered this world and changed our lives forever.

I was pregnant 2 years before Carter's arrival in July of 2012. It was July 2010 when I found out I was pregnant and I was over the moon excited. I honestly couldn't believe it! Up until that point I never could imagine myself actually pregnant...maybe that sounds crazy. But I couldn't wrap my mind around it for the first few weeks. I remember going to my In laws with pee stick (hahaha) in hand to tell them the news. I printed out 'Pregnancy by week' because I couldn't wait to go get the book. I remember being irritated when people would ask me if I had felt the "flurries" yet. What flurries? Typical. If there's anyone that won't feel the flurries, it would be me. Oh well.

My 9 week checkup was nearing and we were to hear the heartbeat. My husband wasn't able to go because of work, I was disappointed but understood. They weren't able to pick up on the heartbeat but said not to worry, it wasn't too uncommon for that to happen this early on so they scheduled me for the next week to try again.  The next week my husband was able to come with me and we were both so excited!! I laid on the bed for what seemed forever while she lubed my stomach and explained what she was about to do and what it would feel like, etc.  The moment was here, and I almost couldn't stand it I was so excited!  I even thought for a moment that maybe they would pick up on two heartbeats!  Being a twin myself, an identical twin, the possibility for twins was there.  There are twins on both sides of our family, and my husband even told me he was praying for twins. Ha!  I can still remember the look on the nurses face while she frantically tried to pick up the heart beat. My husband was sitting across the room and I shot him a look, I must have looked terrified because he jumped out of his seat to stand next to the table. The nurse excused herself and came back with my doctor. He did the same as the nurse before him did, moved around my stomach to try to pick up a heartbeat. It wasn't long before he said, "well, what has happened is what we call an early term miscarriage..." He said several things after that but I honestly couldn't tell you what else he said. I could feel my stomach in my throat. Before I knew it I was sobbing uncontrollably and the nurse kept handing me Kleenex. We walked past the checkout desk and left. I couldn't even grasp what had just happened. I had walked into my appointment a Mommy, and walked out child-less.  I was almost 11 weeks pregnant.

The next several months I walked around in a haze. Excuse me if I sound 'dramatic', if I wouldn't have suffered a miscarriage I'm afraid I would be thinking the same thing. But...I lost my baby. The baby that without even knowing the gender, I had named. My baby had a name. My baby had a future with me and my husband. My baby was due in April, a few days shy of my birthday. My life lost  meaning.

We decided almost 3 or 4 months later to start trying again. Unlike before, I was determined this time. My poor husband. Ha! Also unlike before, it didn't happen immediately. Actually, we tried for 6 months, nothing. Some would say that's normal, and maybe it is. But you also have to understand that we were doing everything possible to get pregnant, and it wasn't happening. I knew my ovulation days and would freak out if Justin had to work late, I mean, FREAK out. See what I mean, my poor poor husband. Finally, after being prompted by my mother, I went back to my doctor to see if he could help. He ran some tests, took some blood, etc. The results came in about a week later and guess what, I wasn't releasing eggs. Whaaaaaatttt!?!? Why?!?!?!? Ugh!! Ok, so now what? He promptly put me on progesterone (which blew me up like a blimp) to help my body release the eggs. We'll see what this does.

It was almost a year later and we still weren't pregnant.  It was then I decided that God was punishing me for something I had done in the past.  It was either that or he was trying to teach me a lesson.  Either way I didn't want to hear any of what He was trying to tell me. I yearned for a baby. That's all I could think about.  I couldn't understand why me, a good Christian woman couldn't get pregnant.  Women and young girls got pregnant all the time, and on accident!  I went to church, I didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't do any type of drug, I paid my tithes, I had a job…so I started bargaining with God.  If I join the choir, You have to let me get pregnant.  I mean, there was obviously something He wanted me to do that I wasn't doing or hadn't done.  If I run around the church tonight during song service, then will You let me get pregnant?  That's completely out of my comfort zone, surely that will work.  Those thoughts really happened.  I didn't know what else to do!  I cried a lot and stayed angry a lot. I was angry with God, my family for, what I thought, not understanding like I thought they should.

Meanwhile, my Sister gets married and 6 months later....yep, she's pregnant. I've since apologized to her but I couldn't even be happy for her. I was so mad at her! She knew, she KNEW all that I had been through! Then she's gonna get pregnant??!! How selfish of her. Right? I get a lump in my throat thinking of all the ways I envied and sometimes hated her during her pregnancy. I hate myself for it. I hate that I never rubbed her belly, I hate that I never wanted to feel Chloe kick. I can't take it back but I am ashamed, so ashamed.

It was nearing the end of October 2011 and I can remember just being fed up with everything. We were having financial struggles, and it just seemed that everything was going wrong. I remember exactly where I was when I pulled my car over and beat, BEAT the steering wheel of my car until my hand was blood red and throbbing. I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I shook my fist up at God and demanded he tell me why. Why he chose me to go through this trial, why he was allowing us to go through financial struggles, why he wouldn't just let me get pregnant! I told him that we went to church every Sunday, we paid our tithes, we were involved in areas of the church, and that I had paid my dues. I wanted him to tell my WHY. I demanded that he tell me audibly! I sat there awhile and then finally drove off. I had no idea, but I was already pregnant.

12 weeks!

I didn't want to share the news as quickly as I did the first time but I also didn't want to give in to fear, I believed this was God's promise fulfilled to us. This was what I had sobbed and prayed for the past year and a half. This is what I laid at the alter for until my face was swollen and splotchy. I needed to claim it!

My pregnancy was a dream. I never puked, had minimal morning sickness and didn't put on a lot of weight. My husband wanted a boy so when we found out it WAS a boy we were both ecstatic. We already had a name. The same name we had picked out for his brother. Carter Samuel Gage. July couldn't get here fast enough and I was already planning the night time songs I would sing to him, how I would dress him, how I would fix his hair...I had everything down to his nursery ready for his arrival.

6 months pregnant 

On July 16, 2012 at 10:06pm, Carter Samuel Gage entered this world. And he was perfect.

Love at first sight

I still struggle with 'God's timing' because it's not MY timing, but His timing is perfect. We had Carter at a time when I was able to stay at home with him. I wouldn't have been able to 2 years earlier. Besides that, I can NOT imagine my life without this baby. He completes our family in every way. I think of his brother or sister almost every day and I can't wait to see him or her in Heaven. I truly look forward to it. Until then, I've got a baby to raise down here on Earth. He is God's gift to us and we will forever be grateful.

Newborn pictures

Carter and Chloe

Napping with Daddy

6 month checkup 

1 year pictures

1 year pictures 

1 year pictures 

Do any of you have a story to tell of Gods promise fulfilled in your life?? If you do, I would love to hear it! 






Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Storing up treasures


Another huge part of my life is church. My faith & God are the only reasons I'm here. Because of God, I have the blessed life I live, my husband, our child...I live every day doing what I can to say thank you and to 'pay Him back' so to speak.

My husband and I are the youth leaders at our church and sometimes working for the Kingdom of God feels SO incredibly unrewarding. I'm just being honest. Especially when you are working with kids. They don't know the sacrifices we make, how incredibly hard it is to plan and sometimes even pay for them to have an activity to do EVERY Friday night, and now with a baby, it's gotten even more difficult at times.  I'm in no way complaining, I'm sorry if it sounds like that. God knows my heart. We have grown to love these kids, really LOVE these kids. And if no one else sees what we're doing or even appreciates it, these kids do and God does. My reward isn't here on Earth, it's in Heaven. I'm storing up some treasures, y'all.

This past week, and a little bit of the week before, I've been baking cakes around the clock for a Valentine's fundraiser our youth group is having. We're selling cake balls by the dozen, in 3 different flavors: Red Velvet, Strawberry and Chocolate. The money from the sales will help send them to a Youth Convention at the end of April. We go with them every year and I still get excited  when I know it's getting close.

I'm the type of gal that has a hard time depending on other people to get things done. It's a good thing and a bad thing. I'm a real go-getter when I have my mind set to do something, but if I have any help offered, I wanna make sure they do it the way I would do it or that they do it, period.  Part of this fundraiser (the biggest part!!) is actually making the cake balls! Selling is fun, even somewhat "challenging" I guess, but....these cake balls ain't gonna make themselves! I've got about 14 cakes baked, cling and foil wrapped and put in freezer bags inside my freezer, not including the 13 cakes I've baked so far today....y'all, my feet hurt. Hahaha. Here's a preview of what my day and kitchen look like right now.

                                                                 




^^^^
I've had that bad boy for about 4 years now and totally forgot about it. It will hold 3 cake mixes!!  

I decided a few years ago that I wanted to be more than the wife of the youth pastor, I wanted to be more than a filled seat in church, I wanted to be more and do more for His Kingdom. Even if it's just signing up to be a Nursery worker (which I did, lol) or joining the choir, or baking 100 cakes that will benefit someone else, I want to stay busy in His Kingdom.   I've heard the saying as long as I can remember that an idol mind is the devil's workshop.  1 Corinthians 15:58 says "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of The Lord, knowing that your toil in not in vain in The Lord". 

So get busy!  Start bettering His Kingdom! Start storing up your treasures!! 





Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Living my dream...

I'm a happily married, stay at home Mommy who loves to cook, bake, sew and craft!! My days consist of taking care of our baby, cleaning, cooking, diaper changing, sipping coffee (just to name a few) and sneaking away to craft during cartoon or nap time. I heart nap time. Maybe more than most šŸ˜.
I  recently got a sewing/embroidery machine in one for Christmas and well, the rest is history. I needed a new sewing machine, BAD. The one I had was a Black Friday special for $50. It was a Brother and it was good to me, but I spent more time being frustrated than productive. Back to my new machine....
                                         

    Ain't she a beaut? Seriously. Added bonus, and you may have already known this, but embroidery machines appliquĆ©!!  Ok, NOW the rest is history.                                                        
                                                 












I. Can't. Stop!!! Not only is my baby boy completely ready for any upcoming holiday, and by ready I mean he has an appliquĆ©d shirt with his name on it (ha!) but I've actually sold several!!  I would love to take complete credit for every part of this discovery, but I can't. My husbands Aunt (and my very good friend *smooch smooch*) actually texted me asking if my machine appliquĆ©d, she's the REAL appliquĆ© freak.  I had no idea, so of course, I googled it.  And the rest is history...ok ok I'll stop.  

In the 1 month I've had this machine, I've done things and attempted things I would have never done in the past!! I've put Carter in a MDO program, every Tuesday and Thursday for starters..I would have never thought I could have gone through with that. We both still get emotional. Haha. I've opened up an Etsy shop (happycheeksboutique) for these shirts, and even started another IG account! Who am I?! This isn't my personality at all. It really goes to show you that doubt will kill your dreams faster than failure ever will. (Thanks, Lindsay!!) I'm so glad that even through all my doubt, thinking I would fail for sure, I still did it. And the rest is history....last time, promise 


Xoxo, 
Brooke









Monday, January 27, 2014

Baking soothes my soul

It's official. I've entered the blogging world! Just sit tight until I get my bearings. I'm still trying to figure this out.  I think I'll start off sharing a recipe I just made with you, food is a huge part of my life so why not? My Sisters father in law picked a boat load of lemons off a lemon tree and had more than enough to go around so I ended up with some. Score. I've held onto these bad boys for 2 weeks now trying to find the perfect lemon dessert. I'm pretty sure I did!

Lemon Meringue Bars
2  sticks of butter, softened
1 3/4 cups. 2 tablespoons of flour
1/4 cup, plus 3 tablespoons of confectioners sugar
2 tablespoons, plus 1 teaspoon of freshly grated lemon zest
1/4 teaspoon of coarse salt
6 large eggs, plus 4 large egg whites
2 1/4 cups, plus 2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cups, plus 3 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Make crust: Put butter, flour, confectioners sugar, 2 teaspoons lemon zest, and the salt in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed until well blended.
  2. Transfer mixture to a 9-by-13-inch rimmed baking sheet. Press batter evenly into baking sheet. Chill in freezer 10 minutes. Bake until golden, 20 to 22 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack.
  3. Make filling: Whisk together whole eggs, 1 3/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar, the lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons lemon zest. Pour over crust. Bake until filling is set, 18 to 20 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack. Keep oven at 350 degrees.
  4. Make meringue topping: Put egg whites and 1/2 cup granulated sugar in the clean bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form.
  5. Using an offset spatula or the back of a spoon, spread meringue over filling, swirling to create soft peaks. Bake until meringue begins to brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Let cool completely. Cut into bars. Bars can be refrigerated in an airtight container, up to 1 day.
Y'all. This is good! I'm having a bar with my coffee right now. It's like lemon meringue pie, but better. Don't believe me? Make these. Today!! You won't be sorry. I gotta go now, until tomorrow! (I'll actually introduce myself) Happy baking! 






Xoxo,
Brooke